All About Stationary

Karen Wedding In A Year, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Photo is from a Winter Fairytale Styled Shoot. Photography by Amanda MacPhee Photography. Stationary by The Organized Bride.

This is the sixth post in a year-long series chronicling the process from engagement to wedding. We will share tips, ideas, and real-world experiences that may help you through your own planning process.

How are your guests going to find out the details of your event?

You could shout it from the virtual rooftops of course, and repeatedly post on social media to invite or inform a good majority of your guests. But what if you’re including someone who doesn’t have Internet, such as an elderly grandparent? What if someone doesn’t check their email or social media frequently?

Sending something via the mail is still a good idea for a number of reasons: everyone likes good mail; it will arrive for your elderly or Internet-free guests; it can be stuck to the fridge and seen daily as a reminder; and many guests are on the lookout for something in the mail once they hear about the wedding. Even if you only send one of your stationary items by regular mail, you should consider sending something through USPS.

What are these stationary items you need to be concerned about, and when do you send them? There are many, many guides available on the Internet. Below are my suggestions and best tips for a timeline of when to contact vendors and when to have them confirmed in order to have your best experience.

For our purposes, we’ll assume your wedding is on a twelve-month timeframe. Adjust as necessary to suit your needs.

A Note About Handmade Stationary

If you plan to have a vendor create all or some of your stationary, then you will need to contact them and confirm their services about eight months away from the wedding. If you are hiring a calligrapher or want your stationary to be handwritten, check with the vendor’s timetable and follow their guidelines for how far out they need to book to fulfill your order.

For all of your stationary, allow enough time in your planning to proofread and revise and, if necessary, reprint!

Save the Dates

Your first piece of stationary! The save-the-dates are so exciting! The save the date is the first piece of wedding-related mail your guests will receive, and you want it to catch their eye. I’ve seen some couples choose to send magnets instead of a traditional paper save the date so their guests could put it directly on the fridge and always see it.

You can choose a style that will be similar to your invitations or you can go an entirely different direction. Some couples use graphics and text only; others use the photos from their engagement photo shoot on the save-the-dates. Whichever route you go, make sure you have your wedding date and venue confirmed BEFORE sending these! You do not need to have the time of the ceremony nailed down by this point, but you should include the names of the couple, the venue, the date, and maybe your wedding website (if you have it made already) to let people explore on their own.

When to send: Typically, you’ll want to send your save-the-dates at least 6 months before the big day. If you’re planning a destination wedding, or if you know that some of your guests will require additional advance notice, aim to send these at least 8 months ahead to give guests more lead time.

Shower Invitations

Typically, the mother of the bride hosts the bridal shower, and so they would be the host and invitation sender for the shower. Keep in mind that the bridal party or the bride herself can help with the invitations as well, such as by providing names and addresses or by sending on the parent’s behalf.

You can do anything you like with the shower invitations! They do not need to match any other stationary, and are often colorful, fun, or exciting.

When to send: A polite timeframe is about 6-8 weeks before the date of the shower.

Wedding Invitations

Your most important piece of stationary is the wedding invitation! Give yourself plenty of time to search for a style you like. In general, your wedding invitation will reflect your wedding’s theme, color scheme, and/or level of formality.

You can start looking at styles and vendors as early as you would like. Some couples start looking shortly after deciding on a wedding date. Others wait until closer to the halfway point. Regardless of when, keep in mind your timeline, and remember that if you want handmade invitations and you have a large guest list, you need to give your vendors time to create a beautiful invitation for you!

As for what to include on the invitation, it can vary depending on how traditional you want to be and what familial situations you may have to account for in the wording. I recommend taking a look at WeddingWire’s detailed wedding invitation guide to help you make some decisions.

When to send: For a destination wedding, give more advance! Send invites at least 2-3 months before the wedding date. For a local wedding, send about 6-8 weeks beforehand.  Make sure that your RSVP date is at least a week before your final count is due to the venue and caterer in case you have to track down responses.

Rehearsal Dinner Invitations

These invitations can be very simple and easy. You send these only to those who need to be there for the rehearsal, and thus the rehearsal dinner. This doesn’t have to be a big bash unless you want it to be. Typically, you should include the bride’s and groom’s parents, siblings, any grandparents, and the bridal party.

Traditionally, the parents of the groom host the rehearsal dinner, and they should send the invitations (or the couple can prepare and send the invitations on the parents’ behalf, if that’s easier, with the return address label showing the hosts’ address). However, the couple could choose to host, or if you are going a non-traditional route, feel free to have the invitations come from whomever is hosting the dinner.

When to send: WeddingWire recommends you send these after you’ve sent the wedding invitations, but no later than roughly 4 weeks before the rehearsal dinner.  

Ceremony Stationary

This stationary doesn’t need to be sent anywhere! This category contains items like your ceremony programs, table cards, signage, etc. Anything you plan to use on your wedding day falls here.

These items can be prepared well ahead of time, or whenever the bridal couple desires. However, for the program, confirm your bridal party and wedding details before printing! You don’t want to waste money having to do a reprint of 100 programs at the last minute.

Some couples want their programs to match the look of the invitations. You do not have to do this. You can be whimsical, serious, simple or fancy, or any style you want. When thinking about what your program will look like – such as a simple front-and-back cardstock, a multi-page booklet, or something in between – you’ll need to account for the size of the bridal party, the length of the ceremony and what’s included in said ceremony, and anyone you would like to explicitly thank.

Thank You Notes

Keep track of your gifts! At any party, shower, or other wedding-related event, it may help to have a friend or family member assist. They can keep a list on a pad of paper with the gift and who gave it, or they can save the gift tags and add any necessary details.

Make sure you keep a list, though. You will need to send thank you notes to all of your guests and gift-givers. Sending thank you notes is a polite and traditional way to thank a guest for attending and/or for giving you a gift. If someone attended the wedding but did not send or bring a gift, it’s still polite to send a card thanking that person for being present.

Your thank you notes do not have to match the rest of your stationary unless you want them to. You could even get some very pretty thank you notes from big box stores or Amazon and spare your budget a little bit. However, if you do want them to match your save the dates or invitations, you’ll need to include them in the count you give to your vendor.

When to send: It’s never too late to send a thank you card. However, try to send them within 2-3 weeks of your wedding date. You can send a thank you card up to 3 months afterward without raising any eyebrows. Most folks understand that you’ll either be on your honeymoon or simply enjoying wedded bliss during this time.

Don’t hesitate to ask your coordinator or a more experienced family member/friend if you have any questions!

When to Book Your Vendors

Karen Tips, Wedding In A Year, , , , , , , , ,

This is the fifth post in a year-long series chronicling the process from engagement to wedding. We will share tips, ideas, and real-world experiences that may help you through your own planning process.

Knowing when to book your vendors is crucial to not only making sure your event goes as planned, but also for keeping your stress levels low and keeping a steady flow during your planning stages.

There are many, many guides available on the Internet. Below are my suggestions and best tips for a timeline of when to contact vendors and when to confirm. 

Since a typical wedding takes about a year to plan, for our purposes here, we’re assuming your wedding is on a twelve-month timeframe. Adjust as necessary to suit your needs.

12 Months Out

Think about:
  • Wedding location and style – Before starting your venue search, it helps to have an idea of what location and style would suit you. If you would prefer a rustic barn wedding, then the middle of a city is unlikely to meet your needs. Spend some time researching what styles and locations you like and narrow down your preferences.
  • Wedding date – Select your preferred date and two backup dates. When you talk with each venue (which should be your first vendor contact), see if they are available on your dates.
  • Wedding planner – Will you have a planner or a day-of coordinator? If so, narrow down your choices and plan to conduct interviews. If not, make sure you know who will handle these essential duties for you.
Contact and confirm:
  • Venue – Once you select a few potential venues based on your wedding location and style, you can begin to schedule tours. In the era of coronavirus, or if you are travelling to your wedding destination, in-person tours may not be possible. If you can’t visit in person, see if a virtual or livestream tour is an option. Once you do decide on the venue of your dreams, confirm your date and put down the deposit. Keep in mind that popular venues are booked a year or more in advance, so if you are tied to a specific date for your wedding, you may want to lock this in early.
  • Caterer – Your venue may have a preferred caterer they work with. If so, you may need to book the caterer at the same time as the venue. Be prepared in case you need to put down two deposits instead of one.
  • Planner/Coordinator – If you are hiring a coordinator, you want to make sure they are available for your wedding date. If you’re hiring a planner to take you through the entire process, you want to start early.

10 Months Out

Think about:
  • Honeymoon – Start thinking about where you would like to go for your honeymoon and what you would need to accomplish before then. If you are planning international travel, do you need to update your passport or get any immunizations? Are you going to hire a travel agent to book anything for you? In the era of coronavirus, travel may be restricted, so keep this in mind when planning. You may even want to hold off on booking the honeymoon until a more stable time. Consider a staycation or a mini-moon in your home state until you can travel more widely.
  • Music – Start thinking about what you would like for your reception and/or ceremony music. Do you prefer a live band or is a DJ more your style?
  • Officiant – Who would you want to actually marry you? If you like the idea of having a family member or close friend become ordained to do this, check the laws in your area to ensure this is a legal and viable option, then float the idea with your desired person.  
Contact and confirm:
  • Photographer/Videographer – This is one of the most important decisions. You want to make sure you have memories from your special day! Confirm with your photographer that they are available for your wedding date and get quotes from two or three to consider all your options. If you also want a videographer, this is often a separate vendor. You will likely need to have your photographer and/or videographer confirmed with deposits by this date in order to reserve their services for your event.
  • Florist – Confirm your florist. You will need to have some idea of what flowers you’d like, how many you will need, and if you will ask the same vendor to make your bouquets or centerpieces. You could also buy flowers in bulk and DIY the bouquets, but keep in mind that this option comes with more work and potential stress.
  • Caterer – If your venue does not have a in-house caterer, you are free to choose your catering company, usually from their preferred vendor list. If so, you can plan to do this about ten months out. Follow the same process of checking for your wedding date and narrowing down available caterers from there.  Review their menu selections to narrow your choices down to one or two possibilities before you schedule your tasting(s), because there is usually a fee for this service, especially if you end up booking somewhere else.   

8 Months Out

Think about:
  • Baker/Cake –Research bakers in your area and think about what you would like for your wedding cake. Do you want a traditional tiered or sheet cake, or something more modern, such as a cupcake tree? Having a cake for cutting and offering other desserts is popular now.  Narrow down your preferences and have two or three bakeries in mind that you could visit. Schedule a tasting, typically six months before your wedding. Remember to ask your bakery when scheduling if there is an additional fee for tastings.
  • Caterer – Select the menu choices for your tasting(s) and schedule your tasting approximately six months before your wedding. NOTE: Once you book your caterer, ask if all or part of your tasting fee can be applied to the contract price.
  • Hair and makeup – Start thinking about what you would like for your hair and makeup for the big day and whether you will get ready at the venue or an off-site location. Will you do your makeup yourself but hire a hair stylist? Will you have the same stylist available for the bride as well as bridesmaids, or do you need a team of stylists for a large wedding party?
Contact and confirm:
  • Music – Confirm your reception and ceremony music. This may be two different vendors; for example, if you want live music for the ceremony but a DJ for the reception, you need to talk with two different companies. Have them both confirmed and deposit(s) placed as needed around this time.
  • Officiant – Once you’ve decided on who you would like to have as your officiant, make sure to confirm the details with them.
  • Stationer/Calligrapher – If you plan to DIY your stationary, you can skip this step. If you plan to have a vendor create all or some of your stationary (save the dates, invitations, table cards, programs, etc.), then you will need to contact them and confirm their services about eight months away from the wedding. If you are hiring a calligrapher or want your stationary to be handwritten, check with the vendor’s timetable and follow their guidelines for how far out they need to book to fulfill your order.

Six Months Out

Contact and confirm:
  • Cake and Caterer – Have your tastings. Who wouldn’t love this step?
  • Transportation – Do you plan to hire a limo, bus, or other transportation for your wedding party on the big day? Have an idea of how many people need transportation and confirm with a company about six months out.
  • Makeup and/or Hair – If you plan to have a makeup artist and/or hair stylist for the bride and the bridal party, you need to have them confirmed by six months out. For a vendor who is really popular, you may need to book them further out. You will need to set up a trial with your artist or stylist about two or three months away before the wedding.

By the time you reach the six-month point, you should have all of your vendors confirmed.

NOTE:  I strongly suggest having a written agreement with vendors, especially with the current health crisis.  Most vendors will have a contract.  Remember, no agreement is binding until it is written down, signed, and money changes hands.  If you do accept a more informal agreement for services, I suggest corresponding by email with the vendor and keeping the email chain for documentation. 

Adjusting for the Situation

Karen Wedding In A Year, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the fourth post in a year-long series chronicling the process from engagement to wedding. We will share tips, ideas, and real-world experiences that may help you through your own planning process.

This year has landed us in a situation that was previously unthinkable. Most of us have never even thought about a pandemic of this scale. There’s a lot of uncertainty and it’s difficult to know how to respond.

If planning a wedding is stressful, planning a wedding during a global health crisis is a full-blown panic attack. You may be unemployed, or watching your investments plummet in value, or have a loved one who is high risk or sick. Given the new issues you are facing, wedding planning may seem like a luxury, or it might continually fall to the bottom of your to-do list, which is entirely understandable.

If you are planning, or have rescheduled, your wedding for next year, or if your event is still scheduled to happen during 2020, there are some ways you could adjust for the situation.

Smaller Guest List

Many couples are choosing to pivot by holding a smaller wedding with just family and/or close friends. While this past spring, gatherings of any size needed to be cancelled or rescheduled, it is now possible to have a small to moderate size wedding, with some adjustments. Regulations on gatherings vary depending on where you live, so, for the sake of illustrating a scenario, let’s say your event has to be capped at 100 people. If you were planning to hold an event with more than 100 guests and rescheduling isn’t an option you want to consider, you face some hard choices.

If you’ve already sent invitations, you have to uninvite some people. My best tip for this is to go through your guest list. Identify those people that absolutely must be at your wedding because you would be devastated if they weren’t there to share the day with you. Those are the folks you absolutely would want to keep.

Mark anyone who could potentially be negatively affected by being exposed to large groups at this time, such as elderly family, immunocompromised individuals, or those working in front-line jobs. These folks may feel more comfortable not attending in person, or simply may not be able to attend due to the health risks involved. Having an honest and compassionate conversation to share your and their concerns will help maintain your relationship and help you both come to a consensus together on what to do.

You could also consider eliminating guests who would need to travel in order to attend, due to potential travel regulations and the risks of traveling at this time. Again, communicating your concerns and hearing theirs is the most effective way to reach a decision everyone can live with.

Use Technology to Your Benefit

For those who cannot attend in person, consider offering a livestream or video option if you’re able. If a videographer is not in your budget, you could ask a tech-savvy family member if they would mind taking video of the ceremony on their phone or with a camera. This way, you would still be able to share some of those important moments with your loved ones.

Keep in mind that unless your family member is a trained videographer, it won’t have the same look or feel as a professional video—but it could be a viable option to at least capture some of the special moments.

A livestream could also be a possibility if your venue has decent Internet. You could share the stream with those who couldn’t travel in, or had health risks, or with other friends and family who couldn’t attend in person.

Elderly attendees may struggle with this option more, as they may not have a computer or a quality Internet connection to watch streamed video. Livestream usually offers an option to record the stream, which could be transferred to a DVD and mailed to less tech savvy loved ones.

Lower Budget

Many wedding vendors have designed packages for smaller weddings that are more budget friendly. If you are planning a smaller ceremony, be sure to ask your vendors if they have any offerings that could be a good fit for you.

If you’ve already signed a contract, a lower guest count means fewer tables, linens, food, staff, alcohol service, etc. Have a talk with your caterer and your venue—who are no doubt aware of the changing requirements and will likely be willing to work with you to adjust—and ask for an updated bill. If you have any concerns about how the changes might affect your finances or the charges from your vendors, don’t hesitate to ask.

Rescheduling vs. Cancelling

The question of postponing or outright cancelling has almost certainly come up for you. My best tip for this issue is to talk with your vendors before making a decision. Your vendors will most likely allow you to reschedule without penalty, but before you choose a new date, confirm with all of them that they are available on the new date.

Once you have confirmed their availability and willingness to reschedule, then you should confirm the change. Most vendors are willing to be flexible if you are rescheduling. 

Cancelling the event comes with much greater financial risk. You would likely lose the deposit, and there may be additional fees if you cancel within a certain time range of the event.

It may seem unreasonable, but your venue and wedding vendors have put time in to make your wedding a success; how much time varies by service, but refunding your money means that they are not compensated for those hours.